I begin my clown tale, I'd like to tell everyone about
the band Too Much Joy, who got sued by Bozo the clown
for sampling him on their song "Clowns." The song has
lines like "I have yet to meet a kid not scared to death
of clowns/They can't walk and they don't talk they got
painted on frowns." Their next album had the phrase "there's
something wrong with this world when clowns got lawyers
too." I highly recommend them to everyone.
So, now on with what I refer to everyone as "The Clown
Dream." The dream starts out with me entering this room
with white walls and no doors or windows, yet there's
eerie shadows like from moonlight on the walls. In the
room are a clown (think John Wayne Gacy, or Pennywise,
or the Killer Klowns from Outer Space, you get the point)
and a man wearing only a pair of jeans. The man is on
his knees and his hands are tied behind his back and he's
sweating and his breathing is all shaky and nervous. The
clown looks at me with a big evil grin and pulls out a
gun, cocks the hammer, puts it in the man's mouth, pulls
the trigger and a spike comes shooting out the back of
the man's head which unfurls with a little BANG! flag.
End of dream.
a relief to find out that there are others who hate clowns.
I think my fear stems from a Twilight Zone episode that
I saw at a friend's house in the fourth grade. You guessed
it...the clown turned out to be a murderer. When I was
a teacher, one of my classes got together to buy me an
end-of-the course gift --- a three-foot hobo clown. I
had to restrain myself from shuddering when I opened it.
But the worst time was when I was about to marry my husband.
Over dinner, a friend of his told us all about a wedding
gift that he was getting us: "You see, it's a CLOWN (my
skin started to crawl), but.... (it gets worse) it's a
SAD clown (the worst kind in my book!). It's happy on
the outside, but sad on the inside" (no duh). When the
painting arrived, it was not only worse than I could possibly
imagine (I twitch just thinking about it), it was enormous.
I stuffed it in the far recesses of a closet and figured
I'd have to haul it out if the guy ever came over for
dinner. But then a miracle happened. When we moved from
that apartment, it just HAPPENED to get lost. I can't
IMAGINE how it got misplaced; all I know is that I have
lived a mercilessly clown-free life since then.
God... you don't understand.. I can't stand them... It
started with seeing Poltergeist when I was about 5, and
then when I saw IT and eventually read the book... and
you ever see that stupid movie killer clowns from Outerspace...
They scare me... I would cry at the circus.... God, it's
a good homepage...but it scares me....too many pic's of
Tim Curry as It.... I don't think I'll sleep well tonight...
I was in college, I took a public speaking course. One
round of speeches were demonstration speeches, and one
girl got up and demonstrated how to apply clown makeup.
She advised not to use makeup around the eyes, because
that scares little kids. She also advised not to fondle
the children or kill their parents, because that scares
scare the hell out of me. I have woken up in sweats after
having nightmares about this one particular clown with
huge purple lips... whoaaah, the thought of him makes
a t i e F o g a r t y W i r e d M a g a z i n e
too, have despised clowns all my life. I believe this
has something to do with my annual trips to the Santa
Claus breakfast. Every year while waiting for Santa to
arrive, the kiddies would be entertained by Tickles the
Clown. If Tickles so much as looked at me, I would try
to crawl under the table.
In college I made the mistake of telling my roommate about
my clown phobia. She felt this was something I needed
to be cured of, so she would periodically cut out pictures
of clowns from newspapers and magazines, and tape them
to the bottom of her bunk so that when I crawled into
bed at night, there would be a hideous clown staring down
at me. Aaaack!!! The worst episode was the time that she
decided it was time to rid me of my hangup once and for
all, so one day while I was gone, she dressed up in clown
makeup. I came back to our room, opened the door, screamed,
and took off running. She proceeded to chase me up and
down the halls of our dorm, outside the building, and
all around campus until I was finally able to take refuge
in a friend's room. Needless to say, this did not cure
my "problem," but only made things worse.
are truly evil.
have always been afraid of clowns since I was a child.
As an adult you don't run into them very much, so it hasn't
been a crippling phobia.
However, when I was working for Sony Wonder (children's
division of Sony) the people from Bozo the Clown came
and did a presentation. I'm sitting at my desk, minding
my own business when a 7' Bozo the Clown came waltzing
into the office. I freaked and had to go hide in the bathroom.
"Killer Klowns From Outer Space" says it all.
(excuse the unfortunate clown-related pronoun) is good
to know that I am not alone in my hatred of clowns! Ever
since I saw the Poltergeist movie where the clown doll
crawls out from under the bed and attacks the little boy,
I have been very doubting of all things that cram themselves
in cars and wear big red noses. I even have a hard time
trusting people with large feet or poofy hair! I was a
small child when I saw this movie, so I was deeply affected.
My grandmother used to keep what I KNEW was an exact replica
of that clown on the bed that I always slept in at her
house. For as far back as I remember, the first thing
I do when I get to her house is to stick that evil thing
in the closet. I am nearly 19 years old and I still do
it! I cannot stand the thought of that thing looking at
me! I know that if I allow it to stay in the room with
me, that as soon as I fall asleep it will attack and do
all sorts of wickedly funny things. When I was 12, I watched
It in school for some reason. I was so freaked. I swear
I will never be able to take my kids to a circus without
getting all nervous and stressed. My hands are sweating
right now because I am thinking about the demonic beings!!
If you ever hear about a support group being formed for
the unfortunate people like myself that are cursed with
clownaphobia, please contact me. I know that if we join
together, we can defeat the diabolic jesters! We can overcome
our fears if we just unite our strengths and focus on